Pour You a Personality

Copyright 2004, Guy Smith, All Rights Reserved

Darlin’, you know I care, and I’ll do whatever you ask me to
But your up-tight ways will surely be the end of me and you.
Obsessive, compulsive, annoying, boring, wound tighter than a banjo string
So take a chair while I prepare a tonic that will set me free

So let me pour you a personality, let me mix you a little charm
I don’t see how liquoring you up can do us any harm
Tip it back and suck it down, and warm up your smile
Let me pour you a personality, and tolerate you for a while

Now I don’t normally prescribe the bottle, but allow me to observe
That when you’re sober being with you, would grate antibody’s nerves
But after a sip of whiskey, or maybe two, or five, or ten
Your slobbering playful side makes you almost livable once again

So let me pour you a personality, let me mix you a little charm
I can’t see how liquoring you up can do us any harm
Tip it back and suck it down, and warm up your smile
Let me pour you a personality, and tolerate you for a while

The damage I’ve done your liver, will draw your final day near
I’ll surely miss you, but for now dear, can I fetch you another beer
Now save me the agony of the person your really are
Get your ass out of the recliner, and down to the corner bar

Your unintoxicated state is a waste of the time when I’m near
Your tedious conversation does not to me endear
Jose is in the blender, a shot of Jack is on its way
Let the booze shave off your rough edges, and maybe I’ll stay

So let me pour you a personality, let me mix you a little charm
I can’t see how liquoring you up can do us any harm
Tip it back and suck it down, and warm up your smile
Let me pour you a personality, and tolerate you for a while


The Story: An ex-girlfriend of mine is my best friend (yeah, about time I did something stately and mature). Before I came along and roamed off, she had encountered more than a few male mates who hit the bottle pretty hard, requiring her to hit them pretty hard. She’s a feisty one.

The fellow who followed me was officially diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder. Pitiful as this is, it didn’t stop his friends from rearranging the silverware in the draw when he wasn’t looking, just for extra entertainment value during weekend BBQs.

Well this gal-o-mine-once discovered that when you fed this fellow a bit more booze than one should consume, he leveled out, got playful, and became livable. This was a useful discovery that she employed whenever possible. How odd that she went from running from drunks to minting them.

Her mistake was telling me. You can’t tell a songwriter something like this an not expect him to write a tune about it. And this is her story, told from her perspective. Let’s hope he doesn’t have a web browser.


Comments

Pour You a Personality — 1 Comment

  1. This is the perfect tune for an old ex of mine…Named Yvonne (e-von).

    I met her as she was bouncing off of her 3rd husband. She was with me for a few years and then married my former best friend and shootin buddy.

    Sure did miss him. Used to get late night long-distance phone calls from him…”Damn man…why didn’t you tell me about her?”

    I tried.

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