Cowboy Confessional

Cowboy Confessional
Writer, songwriter, political provocateur
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Federal Tipping

March 7th, 2010

I’m not sure when it happened, but I know for certain what happened.

The People lost control of government when they lost control of their money.  After all, people not in control of their earned wealth are called slaves.  At some point in American history The People lost control of their money, and that occurred when the Federal government began eating most of it.

Solid is the philosophy of local.  Local taxes solving local problems provides, if nothing else, local control.  From experience I can attest that grabbing a local elected official by the lapels and instructing him on what to quit doing produces the desired results.  Doing the same to your Congress Critter, less so.  Hence, when control over taxes and spending shifted from your county commissioner to 535 competing and corrupt(able) conmen in Congress, control over your wealth and your destiny disappeared.

Veronique de Rugy, the ever alert number cruncher for Reason magazine, cobbled together some statistics for which I lacked the gumption to gather (click the chart to enlarge).  As things stand today – and which is hopefully a temporary condition – the Federal government absorbs more than 60% of all government revenues.  It in turn spits out about half a billion bucks (about 19% of revenue) to the states in all manor of pork and social engineering.  The net effect is that no state and likely few localities get more than they pay, especially since Uncle Sugar always takes his cut off the top.

This creates the unseemly situation of 535 elected employees jousting to steal as much tax money as possible.  It also explains Barack Obama bringing Chicago-style bully and bribe politics to Washington, though this merely deepened that cesspool.  An effect of this untidy scheme is that federal money defines action.  Whatever cabal is in power uses your tax money not to improve your locale, but to make you and your neighbors do the cabal’s bidding (see the earlier slavery definition).  Complaining to congressmen is useless as they reliably blame the other 534 grandstanding gangsters who are allegedly more evil and intellectually deficient.

Grabbing your congressman by the lapels does no good, though sudden crotch kicks might.

The trend line is unpromising.  Aside from the Reagan years when the number and total dollar amount of federal grants to states dropped – and which incidentally ushered in the longest running era of prosperity in modern memory – Federal largess with your lucre has been accelerating, and took a tremendous spike with the 2010 projections.  In constant dollars, the degree of Federal financial manipulation of states has grown from about $25 billion in the post-war years to half a trillion today, or about a 20 fold increase.

Looked at from an angle of clarity, you have 1/20th the control you once had over your state and by proxy your local government.

Aside from armed insurrection or the Supreme Court finally conforming to its oath of office, there is little hope for change, especially with the current Hope and Change merchant in charge.  Indeed, most of his unstimulating stimulus is in the form of expanded grants to state governments with the express purpose of growing state employee roles.  Your representatives, if I may misuse the word, hungrily grab every stack of such cash while bemoaning the culture of corruption that is Congress, unable to see that they are at best a tapeworm in that intestinal tract.

I have wondered of late what the cure might be, and I think there is one, albeit an audacious and somewhat dangerous display of federalism.  In theory (remember, theory and practice are entirely different creatures) a state could:

* Itemize unconstitutional Federal programs and programs for which it chooses not to accept federal fund.

* Calculate their residents’ share of the overall tax burden.

* Unilaterally declare that their residents are not liable for said taxes (i.e., tell their residents that they can shave xx% off their final calculated Federal income taxes).

* Bar all IRS agents and federal judges from the state that dare audit or arrest a citizen for taking that deduction.

* Levy fines against the Federal government for not refunding pre-paid taxes, and since the Feds will never pay the fines, follow-up by allowing in-state companies to reduce employee Federal income tax collection by protection of state law.

Predictably, this would devolve in two ways.  The Federal courts would rule the whole thing illegal and demand that the renegade state submit to the power of Federal law.  Of course, since there are fundamental questions about the constitutionality of the programs in question and the whole ugly issue of Federalism, a state could initially thumb its nose at the judges.  The only action that the Federal government could then take would be military.

There lay the complication.  Would any President order the military to take action against a state to enforce tax collection?  In theory they could not for the writ of the Posse Comitatus Act, which limits the use of the military for law enforcement. The other branches of the Federal government combined wouldn’t have the firepower to subdue but the smallest of states.  If a big joint filled with rough and independent minded people – let’s say Texas – were the instigator, then the Feds would have no choice but a full invasion.

Which would not work.  First, it is doubtful any sitting president – not even Obama the Omnipotent – would militarily invade a state.  Doing so, especially in these cantankerous times would invite all-out civil war.  If the instigating state also had a significant military presence, and given the fidelity the military has to The People over the president, odds are whatever military tools were in state would instantly belong to that state.

Imagine tea partiers with nukes.

It is an ugly scheme and one I hope nobody takes.  Yet being a student of history and knowing how free people will fight to stay free, this is not an unimaginable outcome.  Heaven help us if Texas elects Ted Nugent for governor … it might just come to pass.

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Bloody Wonderful

February 28th, 2010

I admit to having odd inclinations, the least weird of which is donating blood.

(Squeamish people … cowboy up.  I’ll talk you into bleeding like I talk everybody into it).

About four times a year I clomp over to the Red Cross offices and flirt with some nice young gal who assaults me with long needles.  We talk about anything aside from politics and exes, since agitating someone with sharp implements is never good policy.  Being an expert bleeder, I’m out of the chair and eating my weight in post-spew cookies in record times (truth be told, one of my motivations for giving blood are the cookies, an almost innocent sin).

Now here is where you come in.  You will donate blood, even if you are the biggest wimp since the last person I dragged to the donation center (she actually whimpered).  Know how I know this?  Because I know you will read the next paragraph.

Here is what I want you to do:  Imagine the person you love most in the world has been seriously slammed in an auto accident, is laying on an emergency ward table, and the doctors says to the nurse “What do you mean we’re out of blood?”

Donate Blood

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Dark Duex

February 23rd, 2010

A friend once opined that there is a fine line between being a realist and a cynic.

Wrong.  Those groups have widely overlapping memberships.

Playful cynicism has always been part of me, much like a congenital defect.  I have gathered, categorized and plagiarized some of the best cynical thinking in the history of humanity and committed it to a database, which may be the least safe place to put such anything.

For years a molder of a web site called The Cynical Web Site languished for lack of maintenance.  It was originally thrown together as an experiment in programming, and became an experience in pain management.  So in a fit of rainy weather induced insanity, the entire site was overhauled and republished.

www.Cynical.ws (the ‘ws’ stands for ‘web site’ and was chosen because some other maniac already owned .com).

So, please visit The Cynical Web Site frequently, copy and past links to cynical definitions and Murphyisms into your own web pages and blogs, and click on every advertisement you see (I could use the cash).

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Amazon’s Asininity

February 19th, 2010

It is widely considered unwise to bite feeding hands, but given the few crumbs I collect from Amazon, I doubt I’ll starve.

I was slightly surprised to receive a stack of 1099-MISC forms from various Amazon.com subsidiaries, held companies and associated oddball entities.  I earn a few Amazon affiliate bucks for links on other web sites.  According to my list of received deposits from last year, I earned something south of $200.

So receiving 17 separate tax documents claiming they had paid me $843,454.49 caught my attention.

Don’t get me wrong.  I would gladly accept the better part of a million bucks from Bezos, and even playfully suggested such when I telephoned their accounting department.  So far, no such payment has been received, though the folks at Amazon sensed my good humor and politely declined sending cash.  They also report that I am not the only affiliate to receive stacks of inappropriate tax filings, though mine might be the only set with the non-existent Social Security number 999-99-9999 (click the image to see a full Monty of one of the 17 forms).

However, humor is running out.

As of the first edition of this post (2010-02-19), they have attempted twice to send a correct 1099, but have yet to use the right SSN.  That is forgivable.  What isn’t forgivable is that they refuse to provide a certified statement that I did not receive $843,454.49.  An ineffective and I suspect otherwise dysfunctional gal named Mary Bartlett (if that is her real name) echoed in email saying “I want to assure you that none of this information has been filed with IRS.”

Sure Mary.  And I want to assure you that I won’t make a deposit in your mouth.

My secret shame is that I wasted a decade working in info tech, managing big iron for some large corporations.  Tax filings are as automated as everything else in our modern age, and odds are all 17 inappropriate tax reports were automatically submitted to the Feds.  Odds are 17 red flags have already popped in some IRS dungeon and I am on an April 15th watch list.  If my tax return doesn’t report an additional $843,454.49, an audit is in my future.

This is why I’ll likely take Amazon to court, to get a judge to enter into court records that I never landed all that lucre.  I issued Amazon a deadline to do the right thing (which they should do without the benefit of legal intimidation) but doubt they have their fecal matter sufficiently gathered.  Shame.  I don’t want to waste my time and they don’t need to waste their money on my lawyers.

Nor do they need this negative blog PR … or talk time I’ll get on CNN, CNBC, Fox and …

UPDATE (2010-02-23): Seems the mere mention of litigation motivates people, even Amazon (or perhaps they read this blog, or the letter I sent their CEO trickled down).  Regardless, 17 faxed pages were lobbed at Amazon this morning with their promise to overnight the stack back with appropriate *VOID* stamps, signatures, DNA samples and perhaps even a sacrificial virgin being laid … to rest in Seattle (though rumors of virgins in Seattle are unsubstantiated).

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Romantic Dynamics

February 11th, 2010

There is a difference between loving a woman and falling in love with a woman.  It is like the difference between admiring the mechanical design of a bear trap and stepping on it.

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