Jolted Joe

Who knew that Joe Biden was divinely omniscient on tactical weaponry?

This is indeed a Gawd send. For millions of years bad actors have been stalking good folks, and good folks have devised numerous tools with which to defend themselves. In just the field of firearms dozens of categories exist, offering a bewildering choice to people needing to forestall beatings, rapes, riots and hot home invasions in settings rural, urban, suburban and hellish (e.g. Chicago). And yet Old Joe has triangulated all scenarios and concluded that everyone can defend themselves with a single firearm and tactic.

“Get a double barreled shotgun,” and “Just walk out on the balcony here, walk out, put [up] that double barreled shotgun and fire two blasts outside the house.”

Gees, that was simple. Thanks Joe.

la-riot-rooftop-assault-weaponsBiden abides by the essence of the gun control industry, namely the notion that your personal self-defense needs are known and provided for by the government. Any sane person (which automatically excludes Old Joe) understands that every person’s situation is different, and that an individual’s circumstances change over time. Jim may live in a gangster’s paradise, Jill has a Jim Beam blitzed estranged husband, and Chul-Moo may have an L.A. riot bubbling past his bodega. Jim needs a 15-pack 9mm, Jill could use that shotgun, and our Korean grocer needs (and incidentally used during the Rodney King riots) an AR-15 with twin taped 30-round mags.

But Joe thinks otherwise. Wait, sorry. I forgot that Joe doesn’t think.

Since the victim possesses the most complete understanding of their threats, they are the best judge of their needs. Hence, “assault weapon” bans, magazine size limitations, safe storage laws, and the entire Joe Biden wish list are active endangerments to someone, somewhere. Ignore for a moment the Constitutional imperative of keeping arms (a clause devoid of specific restrictions) and consider just the practical elements. If you faced a hot home invasion by three armed men, would you want a pistol, a double-barrel shotgun, or an AR-15 with a flip-clip? Most educated people (which again excludes our senile Uncle Joe) would opt for the latter.

“You don’t need an AR-15. Buy a shotgun,” Biden bid.

The backlash against Biden’s bum steer was divine in its irony. Not only did the lady to who Jolted Joe gave his seeming sexist advice think it would tactically backfire, it would actually be illegal in his home state of Delaware. That the mentally brittle Biden gave his wife the same guidance indicates that she should make him an estranged husband before he endangers her further (she should also get an AR-15 with a 30-round mag to defend herself under the seemingly probable assumption that Joe’s medication makes his behavior unpredictable).

Thus far, at the national level, the Biden/Obama gun control package is gaining no headway. This caused Jerky Joe to leverage the The Lie of Authority (to speak with authority, though not fact, and by such presence keep others from questioning the information). In a not-so-transient fit of delusion, Joe proclaimed that gun control momentum is unstoppable. Normally folks as old as Joe remember history, so we’ll sadly assume his Alzheimer’s is flaring. Whenever there is a massacre with guns there is a momentary panic and political push for gun control. After initial fears subside and the public looks deeply into the episode, calls for controls recede.

Sandy Hook is no exception.

Perhaps Joe does know this, and his absolutist assertions are part of political gamesmanship. But as Sandy Hook details get analyzed, more and more of the public realize that the killer was just a different kind of crazy – just like Tucson assassin Loughner, VA mass murderer Cho and Aurora a-hole Holmes. The division between these criminally insane individuals and your neighbor are vast (and if they aren’t, then buy an AR-15 today).

Take a moment to ponder two Sandy Hook realities. First, Adam Lanza pumped three to eleven rounds at point-blank range into all of the children. Odds are the first .223 round killed or fatally injured each elementary school child. Thus Lanza was not on a mission to simply kill kids; he was on a blood bath joy ride, seeking to splatter tiny skulls for his tremendously sick amusement. Second, he killed the 20 kids over a span of about ten minutes. Doing the math, we see that he fired a round about every four-plus seconds. Biden and other bunko artists are attempting to ban big magazines because of Sandy Hook, but the shooter could have individually and leisurely chambered each round with time to spare in four second intervals.

But Joe and other jokers ramble on, displaying their con as they go and thus losing the faith of the American people. This is old news because his gun control arguments have been made and debunked for decades. This is his last gasp, and Joe will fade into the political void in four years without successfully enacting any civil rights restrictions (guess he should have taken more lessons on that topic from fellow Senate Democrat Robert Byrd).


Comments

Jolted Joe — 2 Comments

  1. Guy Smith, this was a refreshingly hilarious article that I enjoyed reading. Only a senile old fool like Joe Biden would suggest that a woman buy a shotgun for home defense. And fire a warning shot in the air? Yeah, damage your home instead of damaging the intruder. Besides, shotguns are heavy and cumbersome. If you are a petite woman, the recoil can knock you off your feet and possibly stun you. So you’ve fired your warning shot, the shotgun’s empty, and you’re flat on your back. Now the perp gets to rape and kill you, and he gets a free shotgun in the bargain. And these are the morons who pass the laws that affect you and me.

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