Fretting Friar Fettuccini
A nation collapsing under crippling debt and facing a fascist renaissance recently convulsed over the pairing priests and pasta.
Greece, the cradle of civilization and the socialist end thereof, is among the walking wounded of financially hemorrhaging European failed states. With a debt-to-GDP ratio nearly guaranteed to catapult Greece from the Euro currency, their economic maelstrom inspire riots, creative arson and the rebirth of a political system more vile than what the Greeks already have. Nearing collapse, they have turned their attention to the Flying Spaghetti Monster and its acolytes.
Seems a Greek Pastafarianism decided to co-opt the name of a local and somewhat dead monk, posthumously converting the deceased priest to the Pellizzoni Order. Elder Paisios was renamed Elder Pastitsios, the latter word being a rather tasty Greek version of lasagna. Rather than noodling over the delicious humor, authorities charged the 27 year old Pastafarian with blasphemy, which is an actually offense in a country known for favoring a sexual activity euphemized as “baloney colonics.”
Naturally this all occurred on Facebook, complete with a Photo Shopped Elder Paisios sporting pastitsio facial features.
This is a sad martyrdom for a disciple of the One False Religion, a dogma that rejects all dogma including its own irrelevant and irreverent one. Worse yet is that this may be a defining moment for Greece (soon to be a subsidiary of Bundestag, which makes ironic the whole Greek neo-Nazi angle). A nation heading for chaotic disruption, financial collapse, banishment from the Euro, instant currency devaluation and possible social collapse is worried about a twenty-something Facebook jokester prone to tortellini torment. It has been said that societies in decline focus on distractions. In ancient Rome, their advanced state of deterioration was echoed by constant Coliseum savagery. In America’s early moments of implosion, it is American Idol (which might also be blasphemy via praise given false idols beautified on air). Greece’s final days may be marked with street protests over pappardelle and pasta padres.
Shame they can’t simply enjoy the saucy humor.



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