Weiner’s Wrangle
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Anthony Weiner was right when he quipped that the jokes about his tweeted crotch-shot would write themselves.
For those immune to stories about shady politicians – a redundant phrase – Weiner’s wiener saga has staying power, the type that only a conman could conjure. What occurred was that a photograph of somebody’s underware covered erection was broadcast to everybody that follows Weiner on Twitter (and if the photo was indeed his perky member, does that make Weiner twitterpated?) The snapshot was allegedly meant to be a private message to a college co-ed and not the Weiner’s 45,000 followers, a tribe that grew with several thousand new perverts awaiting Weiner’s next bit of pop porn.
Many elements make this a bizarre little tale, and a lesson in political lying (a topic in which you can wallow via the pages of Shooting The Bull). An abbreviated list of issues erupted from his alleged erection projection:
- Why was a married man sending images of his manhood to anyone but his wife?
- Why would the 46 year old Weiner send pup tent snaps to a college co-ed, which ultra conservatives consider one step shy of child molesting?
- How could a standing Representative in Congress make the dumb mistake of sending a private message to the world?
As entertaining as these issues are, they stand naked next to Weiner’s self-burial processes. Rarely in the political world does a public figure leap directly from the frying pan into the burning ninth ring of Hell. His attempts to extract himself from public and media attention only amplified both. This relatively unknown politician has displaced Jesus for crucifixion notoriety by nailing himself to a cross.
Weiner initially blamed hackers for hijacking his Twit account and sending the photo, which by the angle of exposure did not expose who was rising in this pole. In his post-perv press conference, Weiner tried to reclassify his erectile indiscretion as a distraction. Yet when one oddly sober reporter insisted that he answer a simple question (“Did you send that photograph?”) Weiner did anything but answer that question. His was a sloppy-seconds attempt at The Lie of Bluff (stating a lie with authority to get the media to repeat your claim). To get the media to carry any message, the talking point must be repeated and no other message allowed in. In other words, if journalists have nothing else to report aside from what you said, then they have little else to relay.
Anthony’s error was doing a press conference and by such tempting reporters to ask questions. After claiming that hackers had broken into his Twitter account, the citizen media started their typical analysis process and branded Weiner a wanker. Weiner had offered no proof of a hack, no digital forensics, no explanation of where the photo came from. This led people to ask one basic question: Is that your wiener, Weiner?
This caused Anthony to remember fellow zipper-impaired Democrat Bill Clinton and thus avoid repeating The Lie of Lewinsky (forcefully making flat denials of observable fact to cast doubt in otherwise lucid minds). If Weiner denied it was his wand in the photo, and later it was proven to be his, then we all would know is that Weiner is not a stand-up fellow. Weiner was avoiding The Lie of Lewinsky to avoid being caught in a lie. His same tactic was at play in avoiding another reporter’s question as to if Anthony had sent the photo regardless of whose soldier was standing at attention (which might have caused even more spectacular problems had Weiner sent the image and it was not his stiffy … just why would Weiner have photos of some other boneheads bone?)
Anthony has thoroughly learned that the pain of a transient embarrassment is far less than being put on the rack of public inquisition. He may well have ended his aspirations for other offices. In short, his shorts got him trouble deep. Anthony, it is time to stand down.
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