Teddy’s Torment

The passing of Ted Kennedy has tormented me all this long day. It started with drinking whiskey for breakfast.

Teddy’s politics and positions have largely been an affront to those who lust for liberty. The media made great hay today of his support for 1960′s era civil rights legislation, though any decent human being would have as well. No, all Ted’s other legislation was designed to rob the average American of his wealth (Teddy’s money is sheltered in offshore trusts) restrict rights (Teddy was a slave to the gun control industry) and limit free choice in many fields (like where to purchase one’s health insurance).

For years I swore that if I awoke one morning to news of his death, I would crack open a fresh bottle of Jack Daniel’s and hoist a good riddance toast.

Time has a way of taking the edge off a man. Drinking breakfast may have been fine for Teddy (he was seen drunk on the Senate floor often enough), but that right of passage long ago lost any charm for me. I am also saddled with a growing desire to let the dead rest. A little respect for the newly croaked doesn’t hurt. No doubt there are more than a few people – mainly ex wives – who long to desecrate my corpse.

So the swig I took from the bottle of Jack this morning was not as rewarding as I had long anticipated.

Let Teddy not be remembered as a great man, for he wasn’t. Laud him not for being bipartisan, for he did so only to incrementally advance his autocratic nightmares. And let him not bask in the glow of his older brothers who had some notion of right, whereas Teddy knew only expediency.

We should remember Ted Kennedy for those elements of his character that defined him best. For accusing a Supreme Court nominee of degrading women, segregating the races and enforcing ignorance (how ignorant of you Teddy). For hijacking the American dream. For jacking taxes so high the average American household can barely get by (though his oil wealth is sheltered in off shore trusts, safe from annual income taxes and estate taxes). For leaving a girl to drown in his car while he sobered-up and his family fixed the investigation (he was only charged with leaving the scene of an accident).

On second thought, let’s forget Teddy altogether.


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