Cowboy Confessional

Cowboy Confessional
Writer, songwriter, political provocateur
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Sinking Joy

April 27th, 2009

While cruising in a 38′ ketch down Florida’s stately Indian River, I had a revelation that a lifetime on and around boats should have come sooner to this cowboy’s alleged mind (but then again, a yachting cowboy is an odd concept that might be a revelation to others).

What I finally realized is that there are no happy boat owners. Owning a watercraft is like having a kid. They are expensive, disruptive, routinely annoying and unreliable entities that owners suffer in order to experience occasional fleeting joy.

Indeed, among yachtsmen and other people of suspect mental stability, an age old joke is that ‘boat’ is actually an acronym for ‘break out another thousand’ as in another thousand dollars. Also like children, boats tend to be temperamental and prone to tantrums of unexplainable origin. They leak like infants and can be moody like teenagers. I once encountered a Criss Craft behaved like a girl with PMS.

And like kids, grown men will dote upon them endlessly and sacrifice everything for their upkeep.

There are no happy boat owners, but they don’t seem to mind … much.

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Deadly Delays

April 25th, 2009

Nothing in life is perfect, and the process of publishing is so far from perfect that saints look askance at everyone in the profession, including writers.

Especially writers.

I received a proofing copy of AFTERLIFE, my upcoming novella. Now, every book ever printed has some problem with it. A typo, a typesetting glitch, some other minor defect. As long as they are few and not disruptive to reader enjoyment, publishers will go to press with the defects included.

AFTERLIFE has one too many blunders for my taste. Most problems are minor. But there is a typo in chapter #1 that causes the reader to have to read the sentence several times before they get that there is a problem and decipher what the sentence should have said. Two minor and non-disruption typos, and two formatting errors can be found as well. Combined these defects have caused me to seek fixes, which will add a few weeks to the release date.

So, in order to keep your attention and build interest in AFTERLIFE, I offer one of the cover blurbs and a passage from the book.

“… imaginative, funny and smart.” – Heidi Springer

Being a born-again atheist, I figured Eddie was the perfect test subject. But he stood frozen like a deer in the swirling headlamp of The Light.

Eddie was a devout smoker and thus an equally devout cancer patient. His prognosis was unavoidable and his last days limited. He spewed bravado as friends and family – all Baptist and all pious to the point of putridness – attempted to bring him back into their flock. Eddie was clearly the black-lunged sheep of the family.

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Minor Miscalc

April 20th, 2009

Obama is off by a mere 787,000%.

News comes this morn that upon returning from his handshake and book club meeting with Hugo Chavez, Obama is allegedly feeling the heat for his staff’s belittling of Americans protesting government excess. In a fit of newfound fiscal fidelity, Obama has instructed his cabinet to find $100M in budget savings saying “We need to restore the American people’s confidence in their government.”

$100 million in executive budget cost reductions after $787 BILLION in pseudo-stimuli spending and an economy-crushing $3.6 TRILLION budget proposal.

Obama must have scored some Peruvian Marching Powder while in South America, or gotten one hell of a contact high when he pressed palms with Chavez.

This is a rather sad moment. Not for me … I’m too much a cynic to waste sadness over political blunders. In fact I find them amusing. No, this sadness will be Obama’s and his supporters’. Obama has bombed in a rather spectacular way. $100 is less than a budget rounding error in Washington D.C. Making much ado about saving the Federal equivalent of sofa change while ramming through spending that will bankrupt a nation is transparent to everyone.

Even his supporters. When you trash their trust, then political freefall is a very real option.

The sad part is that Obama thinks this will mollify the masses. He honestly believes that Americans can’t perform simple math and see that the least of his spending programs outstrips his fictitious frugality by a factor of 7,870:1. Voters expect to be lied to, but they never condone belittling. The nascent backlash will be fertilized with such executive branch condescension.

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Tea Tremors

April 19th, 2009

An opening salvo was fired on Wednesday. Was Washington D.C. listening?

In several hundred places around the country people skipped work to engage in the exercise of free speech and redress their grievances. These protests were called Tea Parties, named after a rather infamous gathering of the same title in 1773. That ‘party’ too was an opening salvo of discontent that three years later led to the dismissal of the reigning government.

Sadly it took copious amounts of spilled blood to complete the process.

Today’s firestorm erupted over the violation of a social compact – not as a negative reaction to Barack Obama’s policies, as some partisans portray it. Anyone with memory or Google can confirm the growing anger with government began under the previous administration. George Bush and Congress conspired to bypass the limited set of powers granted them in the Constitution and to give taxpayer money to failed corporations, granting unelected power brokers the role of public arbitrators.

People at modern era Tea Parties were blustering last October. Obama’s spending agenda has simply poured jet fuel onto an already smoldering fire.

Oink if you are spending my tax money

Signs are rally requisites, used to express one’s rage long after vocal chords tire. Taxes were this week’s secondary theme. The prominent note of discord was on the subject of liberty and the shrinking supply thereof. People primarily spoke of their revulsion to the forced deflowering of the Constitution, though truth be told, Lady Liberty has been often soiled by Congress, Presidents and Supreme Court Justices alike. Protester shoulders were thusly squared in the defense of the express written will of the American people.

Better to be an imperfect capitalist than a perfect socialist

Obama – despite his press secretary’s canard claiming the White House was unaware or unimpressed with the protests – used the faux theme of taxes in clumsy parry. “My administration has taken far-reaching action to give tax cuts to the Americans who need them,” was his public statement. It is interesting that he presumes the wisdom to know who needs tax relief and who does not. Unspoken was that his generosity affords relief of a measly $400, which might afford a cup of coffee after Obama inspired inflation ravages the dollar. Unsaid was that taxes on some Americans will rise nearly 25% this year or that taxes must rise in the future to pay for a spending plan so large that even Congress blinked at the proposal.

Unsaid was that the next generation of college graduates will have minimum wage take home pay after taxes. Glad you put in an extra four years, eh kids?

236 years to build a republic and one month to destroy it

Tea Party participants were rightly riled over taxes given that they clearly see how their taxes are misappropriated – grants to failed enterprises, failed government entities like Fannie and Freddie Mac, failed government programs, failed humans leeching American life blood from the economy through Federal programs. Nowhere in The People’s Constitution are any of these schemes permitted. Little wonder then that protests were from shore to shore and that the Obama administration treated them dismissively.

That’s what monarchs do when the opening salvo is fired.

Time to reload the revolution

That last sign troubled me. Along with the slogan was a drawing of a Kentucky long rifle, circa 1776. The prelude was pure, the prediction precise. Common among realist is an old adage that there are three boxes The People use to defend freedom – the ballot box, the jury box and the bullet box. Historians know what inevitably arises when The People are suddenly dictated to by their employees in government and when the government does not obey the express written will of The People. It happened in 1773 and again in 2009. Unless the Lords of Government have changed their behavior in the last 236 years, the outcome could be regrettably similar.

An opening salvo was fired this week. Was Washington D.C. listening?

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That’s Novella

April 14th, 2009

A new novella by yours truly will hit the shelves in a few weeks, so warm-up up those now seldom-used credit cards and help stimulate my economy.

The teaser for the book:  What if life got more complicated after death?

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