Cowboy Confessional

I always thought tattoos were dangerous. Now we have proof.

I don’t have any objection to tattoos on principle. In fact, a well placed tattoo on a woman can be sexy (especially if one treats them as a set of handlebars). But so many people now have tats that it is no longer cool. Skin and ink has become mainstream, and the few of us not wearing body art are the differentiated minority.

I always thought allowing some random biker — with a prison record and suspect hygiene — to jab a used needle into my epidermis bordered on insane. But two mentally challenged Texans have made getting a tattoo almost fatal.

Seems that either Robert Glasser and Joey Acosta of El Paso wanted a tattoo of a revolver. So in order to make their tat as realistic as possible, they decided to trace a real .357 mangle’em.

They didn’t bother to unload it first.

Somehow, Robert and Joey managed to shoot themselves at the same instant. One round staffed Robert’s hand and then clipped Joey’s arm. For this to happen, both “men” would have to have been on the barrel side of the loaded and cocked handgun. Triple stupid.

Sadly, Robert and Joey do not qualify for a Darwin Award, but might receive an honorable mention for trying.

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I’m a fan of small government, thus I am perpetually disappointed. I would gladly settle for no government than a large and oppressive one.

I may have found a way.

Seems the city of Half Moon Bay (a rather charming place otherwise) overstepped it’s bounds and made a man’s property effectively out of his control. By digging a poorly placed storm drain and strategically piling the excess dirt, they turned his land (which had been approved for development) into “wetlands”. The allegedly unintentional conversion put his property under environmental protection, and cost the owner both the million bucks he paid for the turf, as well as whatever profit he would have made by putting 83 residential units there.

So he sued, won, received a judgement for $36 million, and may force the city into bankruptcy.

Good for him.

The primary benefit to mankind is that there soon may be one less government entity, and in this case one so evil and/or inept that by installing a storm drain (as part of the pending development project) they robbed the property owner. Such a government has no right to live.

Just as delightful is that the inanity of this particular environmental regulation has been exposed. The goal of this regulatory rubbish was to protect existing wetlands — to make sure nature’s water recycling system survived. Yet an arrogant city found a way to create new wetlands (which really stretches the definition “wetlands” to begin with) and remove it from legal private use. A law so poorly written — that the very definition of “existing” could be buried by a backhoe — should be annulled.

Now if the owner could sue the EPA out of existence …

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