Crumbling Al Qaeda
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The Twilight Zone has firmly embraced world affairs, bucking me harder than any bronc ever did. Just yesterday I dressed-down a dictator, and today I half-heartedly defend one.
Running for third place as the planet’s top lunatic — tightly trailing Osama bin Laden and Dennis Kucinich — is the #2 turban in Al Queda, Ayman al-Zawahri. His megalomania is superseded only by Satan and Hillary Clinton, though the distinction between that last pair is blurry at best.
In Al Qaeda’s continuing defeat we see early signs of desperation. Not only have that backed-off of their campaign in Iraq, and have all but fled Afghanistan, they are now turning on their former allies. When your friends become your enemies, you have no friends left because the few that remain no longer can trust you.
Ayman (which rhymes with hymen for obvious reasons) has proclaimed Lybian madman, dictator and apparent syphilis victim Moammar Gadhafi as an enemy of Islam, and is threatening to shift the defeated Iraq chapter of Al Qaeda to battle in Tripoli. Ayman insists that Gadhafi is a puppet of Washington D.C., just as is Israel, Germany, Australia, Greenpeace and the Vienna Boys Choir. Soon al-Zawahri will believe that Vladimir Putin is George Bush’s bed buddy (my apologies for a truly horrific mental visual on that one).
Perhaps I should not post this blog entry. Napoleon said “Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.” When Al Qaeda begins to eat their own, first by killing innocent Muslims in Iraq, then by targeting fellow Muslim dictators, they are siding legs akimbo down the razor blade of self-defeat. It won’t be long before Ayman finds fault with Iran, accuses Mahmoud I-Want-Jihad of not hanging his quota of homosexuals, declares war and thus forces Iran to expel Osama himself (anyone who thinks bin Laden is spelunking in Tora Bora missed some major clues).
My only fear is that I cannot quickly enough find a way to help accelerate Al Qaeda’s suicidal process. My horse is constipated, and Ayman’s rotting flesh might make a good fertilizer substitute.
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[...] A second installment in the war between terrorists recently erupted. Ayman (rhymes with hymen) al-Zawahiri, Al Qaeda’s aging and enfeebled second banana, has once again denounced fellow Muslim terrorist. Ayman delivered an audio presentation dull enough to drive a man to suicide (perhaps this is how Al Qaeda is creating new bombers). In this presentation Ayman criticized Iran of discrediting Al Qaeda. [...]
[...] Taliban, Al Qaeda’s intellectual kin, are busily assassinating their own. Ayman “The Hymen” al-Zawahri once commanded to his disgruntled troops to attach Tripoli. Now the Taliban are offing Taliban. Take the unfortunate Qari Zainuddin’s, whose career was cut [...]