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“The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a gap between one’s real and one’s declared aims, one turns as it were instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms, like a cuttlefish spurting out ink.”
– George Orwell, “Politics and the English Language”, 1946
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I posted a rough hack of a 2003 song I wrote when I first subjected myself to the irony of Internet dating … and all the psychotic dementia that can induce.
Titled “Electronic Love” there is enough innuendo to make the lyrics amusing. For anyone who has seen how the net can both enhance and cripple relationships, the rest of the song will be a painful reminder.
This rough hack is very dirty sounding due to my over experimentation with the recording equipment. But there is one lesson that came out during the production of this test piece, namely experiment with everything!
The lead guitar didn’t have a sound I liked, and while pondering what to do I kept clicking through the various effects that were packaged with the digital audio workstation software (Sonar Studio if you are curious). There was one item in the effects list I had not noticed before, and it was a guitar effect rack simulator called Revalver. When it opened I saw a classic 19″ rack loaded with gear in just the way old analog musicians are used to. A quick experiment with the presents and I found a grungy effect that isn’t exactly what I want, not it is 90% closer than what I had.
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Anyone retaining respect for the United Nations will jettison their misguided sentiments next year.
But there is an option.
Come spring when even atheists catch a glimmer of God in the annual renewal of life, the U.N. will host an anti-racism conference. Like most Orwellian institutions, the name given saints disguises the monster beneath.
The head of the monster de jure is the chairman of the committee who hails from Libya. Unknown for its adherence to civil or human rights, yet well known for explicit links to bombing jumbo jets and an aggressive WMD program, suspicion of Libyan racial intolerance is understandable.
Since criminals are pack animals, hand-selected “friends of the chair” will include Iran and other ideological backwaters. The explicit aim of the conference leadership appears to again claim that Zionism is a form a racism and thus the only way to counter such is to be even more racist (repeat until dizzy and you will have as good of a grasp of mid-East politics as anyone). A European Union proposal to discuss “freedom of expression” as part of the conference was denied as being “political in nature.”
Odd. The U.N. is a political machine but with less class, honor and ability than all the others. Why not discuss political matters?
The anti-racism conference is an offshoot of the U.N.’s Human Rights Council which has little to do with rights and appears to be opposed to humans. An idealist recently proposed that the Council oppose female genital mutilation, a procedure performed in barbarous localities and whereby many enjoyable pieces of the feminine reproductive system (clitoris, labia) are removed with little warning and no anesthetic.
Egypt’s response was “We will not discuss issues related to Shariah law.”
The U.N. is hopelessly soiled. Since U.N. membership is open to all nations — regardless of what band of baboons run these countries — co-opting the organization to spread human abuse is a natural direction for the U.N. to go. Like welfare offices everywhere, the U.N. cannot discriminate between good and bad actors and in short order the evil, corrupt and lazy run the show.
Hence the un-UN (also warmly referred to as the Alternate U.N. or Liberty league). The proposal calls for free nations to form a new confederation with higher admission prices to keep out the riffraff. The gauntlet might include a list of civil and human rights and a track record of adherence (which means my friends in the U.K. and Mexico might have a tough time getting in given their bans on self defense tools).
This alternate United Nations would receive most of the cash currently dumped into United Nations Plaza. The lucre would be used to actively export freedom and counter balance anti-human initiative, instead of extravagant life styles for third world diplomats. It would also provide free nations a perpetual planning forum for promoting freedom universally.
And the weakened United Nations would remain as a year-round debating society and a good place to keep careful watch on the likes of Lybia and their pals.
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John Edwards claims he is not the father of a child whelped by the woman with which he had an affair. For months Edwards publicly denied his tryst and now he denies he spawned the scion out of wedlock.
Where was Bill Clinton nine months before the blessed event?
While confessing to ABS News Edwards also said “You cannot beat me up more than I have already beaten up myself.” You would think a politician would understand the media better than that.
Dear John, the journalistic butt kicking has only begun. Your former friends in the media have found a more interesting story than Russian invading Georgia and will ride it like a payday cowboy on a Vegas hooker.
Speaking of Vegas, betrayed wife Hillary Clinton was in Las Vegas today and in reaction to Edwards confession said as little as possible.
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I spent the morning rubbing shoulders with politicians and other disreputable characters.
Normally an amputation without anesthesia would be preferable, but in this case I was enjoying the commissioning of the new Coast Guard Cutter Bertholf.
This ex-cowboy ended up in the company of unsavory elected ruffians by virtue of having grown-up with the Bertholf’s captain and his wife. We reconnected shortly before Captain Stadt, Michelle and the new ship arrived here in San Francisco.
The cutter emphasizes the old and new priorities of the Coast Guard. In a post 9/11 world, the coasties have an expanded mandate involving defense from the world’s nasty players. The Coast Guard’s enhanced mission becomes clear when you discover that this 418 foot (127 meters for my foreign friends who use a vastly superior system of weights and measures) ship can sprint through the water at 28 knots, run for 60 days and reach 12,000 nautical miles.
Oh, and the laser aimed 57mm bow gun that fires 200 rounds per minute is a dead give away.
The Bertholf is the first cutter of this design — the Legend class — and I feel a bit sorry for Pat having to take the lumps that come with version 1.0 hardware (quite literally, that forward gun is serial number 001). But after a shakedown cruise, everything appears to be in fighting order.
Security was amusing as it always is when dignitaries are in town. Homeland Security secretary Michael Chertoff was at last night’s reception as well as today’s commissioning. I managed to leave the poor fellow alone. Taking the helm of a bureaucracy hastily assembled from bits and piece of the federal government in the panic of post 9/11 is enough pressure for one lifetime. Unsolicited critique from me was wholly unnecessary.
However, the parking lot and reception area had the usual assortment of large men in ugly suits, sporting dark sunglasses (at night while indoors), coiled cables coming from the ears and conspicuous bulges under the left side of the jackets. Piece of advice: don’t engage these guys in conversation, especially with an opening line like “So, what make of handgun do you carry?”
The security situation was even more entertaining outside. The Bertholf is moored at the Coast Guard island next to Alameda, California — two islands in San Francisco Bay. The ditch between the islands was littered with smaller Coast Guard patrol boats that slaked menacing sideways, bow always facing away from the Bertholf and the assembled guest.
And each had a very stern looking fellow on the bow, hands firmly gripping the Browning .50 caliber machine guns mounted there.
The Bertholf bridge is geek heaven. Nothing resembled the helm of ships you have seen before. The twin rudders are independently operated using two tiny dashboard wheels that I could cover with one hand. Large computer screens provide an at-a-glance view of the entire vessel’s status. Both screws are independent as well and have variable pitch controls, allowing the thrust of each to be tailored.
In a pinch you can steer the ship using just the propellers.
The captain and crew certainly are ready. Not a dullard in the pack. All young, healthy and seemingly eager to get the on with their duties. If al Quaeda reads this blog, then allow me to suggest not screwing with this crew. You’ll arrive in Paradise well ahead of schedule.
